This is a radical inclusive narrative by visualisation with painting and textile. The title of “Coloroffrog” is used as the name for commercial means of my works in the market. This name has my hope for inclusivity, and dubiousness against (ir)reconcilable opposites. As if the amphibia of frogs can live both in water and on land, the malleability should be appreciated more in human society. Mayu Morishita as an international citizen who critically investigates the potential of an inclusive society; How can I offer the bridge between the opposed perspective? So-called general understanding of "dualistic views" is my tentative cause for exclusion, especially people who has psychiatric struggles. As the result of internal struggle, the loss of social opportunity is the most problematic concern for both individuals and society. I create the non-binary bridge between opposed ideas such as mind/body, art/design, art/economy, and individual/society through my creative process. By doing so, it allows creating the space for mind and perspective to surrender the thing not categorised in a certain box. I believe that this internal setting will lead to an inclusive environment. My practice is tactile- and somatic-based research. Based on working on materials with my hands and practising Ashtanga yoga, my internal world is updated with the natural flow, which creates a better psychological environment to unite the outside world of myself. I will share the result from my tactile research with painting and fabric on this website.




table of contents :

and Body

How can I transform the physical discomfort of sounds in a sustainable way?

02. Art and

    how I came to textile design from fine art

03.Art and 

    when art participate in economic field



how to include the exclusion



coming soon...



How can I transform the physical discomfort of sounds in a sustainable way?

    My acoustic processing ability was educated with the classical piano practice when I was 3 years old. I was trained to read the music score as quick and precise as possible and recognise the pitch of notes by listening. Aside from this, I remember as a small kid the sound of Japanese traditional drums and the sound of velcro tapes were unreasonably intolerable. These sounds used to bring me nausea, dizziness, and itchiness to a severe level. Also, the sensation of tingling in my brain drives me crazy. Around when I turned 16 years old, I often had panic attacks by a trigger of discomfort sounds, which took me away from school, and also from my basic social life. Fear for my triggering sounds became a fear for the public and fear for spending with people.

Around this time was the 2010s in Japan. There was hardly anyone, even a doctor, to understand my condition. This is understandable to look at the research history of Misophonia. Misophonia; is a neuron disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or psychological responses. It was identified in the 1990s by Audiologist Marsha Johnson and named the Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome, shortly referred to as “4S”. The research was finally started in 2001 in Amsterdam. So, the case and research of my condition were rarely known in Japan back then.

It took a very long time to find what I suffered from, and how I acquire the improvement. In the meantime, I tried to understand it and invent the recovery pathway on my own. The painting was one of my definite safe places around that time. Painting functions as if sleeping. It made me feel like my brain can finally process what goes on through making colour and texture on an abstract level. Likewise, a dream processes information and painting functions the same way. By doing so, this process allows me to validate my discomfort feeling from sounds. In my painting, I translate all of my wonders, endless questions, and wishes as colours and textures. Wishing all beings including chaos and disorders are interwoven as one unity. By visualising them in a tangible state, I can generalise the errors that I embrace. And this process enables me to surrender "it is how it is, neither good nor bad." This is one of my methods of processing information to get stepped out of the questionable past towards the neutral present to securely send me to the safe future.

I will describe my painting process. Firstly, I use composition from any scenery or typography to give a specific space in my painting. This is the structure of my painting. If it is the scenery, I imagine when the scenery I see would be in a photograph and picture the abstract composition. When I use typographical references, the structure and system of calligraphy are used. In the Japanese calligraphy class that I had in my childhood, I was fascinated by how one letter has its own order and movement in it. And when it is combined with different letters to form a sentence, which creates unique space and relations with each other. By referencing the different scales of space from a letter to the environment, it gives the space for a general idea of ambient sounds. By doing so, the space in my composition is applied to reflect the visualisation of sounds. Secondly, I play around with the texture based on the first fundamental picture. In order to show the variety of sounds. This is a Synesthetic way of sensation to have the tactility on every sound element. I try expressing this through some actions and techniques. Brushstrokes and marks that are created by some actions can show the moment when I am working in front of a paper or canvas. The presence of myself at that moment and the relation between materials and myself are visualised through these textures. Also, I found that combining multicolours in the meantime also enables to show the complexity of sound texture. Sounds are invisible. I want to remain this ambiguity by not applying a certain colour. The complementary colour functions to blur the idea of recognising what colour it is. This idea of uncertainty comes from “ 諸 行 無 常 (sabbe sankhara anicca)”, Buddhism. The everyday thing is fluid so metaphysics and its name also fluctuate their relationship with each other. Likewise, one day I feel confused for some reason and other days I feel clearly confident, which does not name who I am. But sometimes, embracing the validated feeling as an element of myself makes me as if that is who I am. If it is an unwanted kind of negative feeling, this will lead the low self-esteem. It is not an ideal way of recognising myself. I found this mind landscape from the Ashtanga practice. To include all mind and thought that I relate with, naming and judging each element are extra efforts. If I spent my focus on these, I do not have any more space to hold the abstract picture of the whole thoughts I have. This visual understanding in my mind is similar to the presence of sounds. By doing so, I try visualising sounds to recognise intangible beings as they are. My aim is to visualise this micro-scale element that influences the human environment. This imaginary view of sounds was from my experience when I had panic attacks. The room where I was was completely occupied with all sounds there, which takes the air and could not breathe by that. This is how I occupied the canvas with multiple colours and various textures.



What do I design as an artist?

    In this chapter, I will share my development process from painting to fabric. I am aiming not only to design a fabric product but also I design a social pathway from my individual fine art practice. Recalling when first I got inspired by fabric. When I fled from a noisy room when a panic attack happened, a school counsellor always gave me a softy comfy blanket. The sense of tactility showed me the entrance to reality from my psychological world. Furthermore, the fabric can absorb sounds. This function substantively protects me from the discomfort caused by sounds. I eventually began seeking a way to transform my painting into the fabric. Then, printing was the most comfortable solution to make the balance between my ethical realisation and labour efforts, as being compared with other media and ways of working such as tufting and digital 3D. Also, I encountered another perspective of my painting by printing the image repeatedly as a pattern. Often, I get my paintings not to have their orientation in order to remain the space for intuition by participants. I don’t define the orientation of my paintings and ask the owner to decide however they feel is right. Also, I admire how they change it by days and seasons. Printing the digital image of painting repeatedly as a textile allows me to visualise this context of my painting work between myself and the participants. The repeated pattern textile deconstructs the orientation of the original painting. This is the visualisation of a perception-based communication without depending on linguistic interaction, which evaluates to be a visual communication. But also looking at how sounds travel by their vibration, the disorientation can be an essential element to imply sounds in visual. Afterwards, I created some wearable items with my printed fabrics—
the scarf with pockets, a pillow, bucket hats, a tote bag and unisex
tops. My vision was to fill all views with my designed textiles like Christie van der Haak and Yayoi Kusama‘s work. First of all, I started to work on what I can do and to make my pieces accessible
for other people’s hands as the very first sketch of my installation
work. The similarity between Haak's works and Kusama's works
is realising the immersive experience. Interestingly, Haak’s description of the work is barely seen on the internet, even if it’s not described in the exhibition. This is Haak’s intention to give viewers
more space to perceive their own intuition. Information about repetitive patterns with various colours is overwhelming enough without description. Alike, Kusama's work is very known as the realisation of the psychiatric experience of schizophrenia. Yinka Shonibare’s quote allows us to describe this context. “I think once a
piece is conclusive, it’s dead. The mind should be allowed to travel
and have fantasy and imagination. People’s minds need to wander.” These artists' attitude brings me more value for non-verbalisation, which is the strength and depth of visualisation. The general tendency of depending too much on one’s explanation in verbal overflows in our everyday life. As a task of visual artist, I recognise that it is challenging to approach participants not linguistically but only through our perception.

Thankfully, all of my handmade items except the first work of the scarf have been exchanged in different people's hands at some different places in the world. I experienced a very appreciative dialogue with one of my friends who intuitively sensed that I owned one of my fabric pieces. She is a person who also has an urgency to look after her neural diversion. And she commented how grateful to wear the material that has my whole internal processing journey. Looking back on all relations with people who owned my fabric items, there is a common interesting relationship between myself and the people who got my pieces. I reminded every person who also opened up with me about their hardship of neuron diversion and congenital disease. This coincidence and a thing in common gave me the link to my work. It enabled me to create the social pathway by visualising my internal investigation and making it accessible to others. Although this unity is based on material, it is based on the individual’s perception and spirituality, which agency is remarked. “Agency” is a core term that is used in New Materialist theory. The quantum entanglements that Karen Barad describes as "an assemblage of individual events, entities, and sets of practices" are productive of "the relational ontology of agential realism" And this can be a fundamental of political subjectivity. In looking at the recovery pathway for participants at the Museum Dr.Guislaan, the challenge is re-connecting with meaningful others. Likewise, the problem of psychiatric struggle is not only about experiencing internal painfulness, it is about losing social opportunity because of an internal nuisance. This circulation hardly creates a better way for both individuals who embrace the psychiatric pain and the community that exclude such individuals. How can we work to improve this unwanted circulation to exclude a specific group of people?



How can neural talents perform their potential skills in the economic field?

    A growing number of companies such as Microsoft, Hewlett- Packard Enterprise and SAP started to reform their structure to offer more comfortable space for neurodiverse talents as well as gain more productivity and performativity. Yet, the labour opportunity for neuralvidersion is still a challenging topic for many neurotypicals. Indeed, my neural diversion has been a nuisance to acquiring financial independence until now. And this fact brings many neural talents to experience exclusion by society. It is true that the narrow entrance to an economic section for many neural talents stimulates the symptoms of neural diversions in an undesirable way which creates obstacles to performing their potential ability. Not only does it takes some time to find the potential skills and the suitable environment to perform it, but also sustaining the comfortable condition of their own health is already challenging to do so. And it takes some emotional labour by experiencing the rejection from somewhere possibly belonging. It is intricate for many neural diversions to find jobs. Entrepreneurism is one of the solutional perspectives to participate in the economic field. In the book “Entreprrecariat: Everyone is Entrepreneurship, Nobody is safe”, Silvio Lorusso, the author states that “Self-affirmation is an amalgam of vocation and economic management, it is thorough self- administration.” And the fundamental dilemma of the entreprecariat is the difficulty of emancipating the identity crisis of the precariat.

Not only the working style but also the financial value is a thing to concern. Many challenging tasks remain in the value of art in the economy. As Kappner says, "Moral and spiritual values have seemingly long succumbed to the overbearing magnetism of money." Annika Kappner, an investment banker and a visual artist, states the patriarchy by the authority of finance as well as the value of art in the economical context. While the research on “Human Economy” at the University of Pretoria describes money as the reflection of human potential to make universal society. How can I practically apply this dilemma of financial authority in my art practice?

Jop van Mierlo is a painter, designer and the cofunder of Wild Animal. He merchandises his painting such as rugs, wall hangings, mug cups so on so on. And succeeded to expand his active field in design from paintings in the art market. He uses logic by analysing museum merchandise. 

After the death of great artists, people merchandise their art and reach more people. This merchandise is often seen in the museum shop. The merchandise is no more art but all circulation from the original art to people who buy them can be interesting. By looking at this loophole and Jop designed his own pathway to reach more people with his paintings. Jop's design strategy from his painting brought me a theory. By de- transforming my fine art practice into merchandise, I am able to reach people with my art. Also, it allows me to involve in the economic field.

There are many commercial platforms to sell creative products. I tried Etsy as an experiment and encountered its marketing strategy of Etsy. This made me feel the need of building this up from zero, which takes focused efforts and time. I felt overwhelmed by this. This platform is useful to communicate with international customers regarding the procedure the international payments. But all of the customers who know me in real connections through Instagram. Etsy was not particularly useful for me to work with. I researched the online engagement of viewers around Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest to acquire more access to my Etsy shop. But this did not really work somehow and turned out to be just an exhausting task for me. So I shifted away from Etsy.

Since many of my friends are enthusiastic about buying items that I made and these happen on Instagram through people we know each other. By looking at this tendency, I assume that real-life interaction is the best to work for me. Although it is happening online it is because we know in-person real life. So, I am starting to get settled to work local-based without depending on SNS.



How can the pathway between individuals and society be updated for inclusivity?


    Mental health is one of the remarkable topics to look at in the 2020s. The report of psychiatric disorders increased more after the ‘90s when the World Wide Web provided the information space through web browsers. By sharing personal mental conditions on the internet, research in this field has been developed. As understanding from this fact, a positive side is that the online space succeeded to become the platform to share the private side of users easier than in real life. However, it is also true that the causes of psychiatric disorders are increasing as communication technology develops. It seems that somehow the emergence of the digital world brought some downsides to psychiatric disorders as well. Here are several reasons to get addicted to it. (A)The social network system itself is designed to be addictive. (B) The emergence of SNS changes the way of communication. As a result, users take more effort into communication, which leads to inexperienced fatigue and causes psychiatric disorders. And I would like to add that the causality of psychiatric disorder is pretty much varied and not rooted in one. This varies by person, which means mental health as a social topic shows that society needs to update the social norm to such detail of individuals.

My question is how can social opportunity as the path to connect individuals to society be updated in this novel context. People who deal with psychiatric disorders nowadays also face the struggle with their social opportunities. Not only the opportunity for labour but also there is the hardship to engage in basic social interaction. Let me share a tragedy that actually happened in detention at the immigration centre in Japan as an example of unreasonable exclusion. Wishma Sandamali was in an abusive relationship with a violent from her partner when she lived in Japan. She is originally from Srilanka and she needed to update her visa to stay in Japan. However, her domestic circumstance caused her schizophrenia, due to this she lost her job and also delayed updating her residence visa. Sandamali went to the police, then the police sent her to the immigration centre. At the detention in the centre, Sandamali's condition got severely sick, which brought her death.

As for this unwanted event, a few problematic sides can be seen in the immigration system in Japan. First of all, why could not the psychological expert support Sandamali either from the police or at the immigration centre? If there could be a supporting system from a psychological aspect, Sandamali’s situation could have been saved. And secondly, why does she have to die in detention? From the research about this event, the horrible immigration system in Japan was elaborated. In Japan, nearly zero per cent of refugees can get an immigrant visa. Refugees who arrived in Japan are sent to the immigration centre at the airport. And immoral treatment is awaited at the centre. “Ushiku(2021)” the documentary film that was filmed after the death of Sandamali, is about the refugee who was sent to the Ushiku immigration centre. Thomas Ash, the director visited the centre to interview the people there with the hidden camera in late 2019. This film publicly accuses Japan’s uncompromising refugee policy of one of the country’s biggest human rights scandals. I saw this film at Japan Film Festival in Ghent. I was quite heartbroken with tears about how people can do such immoral behaviour with violence to others in the centre. It is true that the experience in the immigration centre causes PTSD and other kinds of negative psychiatric diversions. There is no fundamental to support mental struggles and this system keeps creating another mental struggle. This is such a ridiculous circulation. But at the same time, I was relieved Ash’s archives at Ushiku led to the improvement of the refuge system of Japan. During the film, Ash visited the politician to show his archives as proof. Thanks to this action, the government acted to improve the system in the immigration centre. This example of exclusion in Japan made me aware of how the inclusive situation is not achieved yet. Severe exclusive attitude still exists as discrimination against a certain group of people and racism all over the world. There is a rigid perspective that divines exclusively what normality is. My aim is to work on soothing this stereotypical perspective.